LGBT Travel Safety: My Top Tips for Traveling Abroad (From an LGBT Travel Expert)

When I first started traveling as a queer person, my instinct was to hide. I didn’t tell anyone I was queer. I let people assume my partner was my friend. I skipped traveler hangouts and hostels, avoiding any situation where I might be asked to explain. Over the years, the lying and hiding got to be too much, and I started allowing myself to be more open in moments where that felt safe. But there are still choices I make for LGBT travel safety. In my LGBTQ travel book, (Out) On the Road, I refer to these habits as a travel safety protocol.

These LGBT travel safety steps are so habitual that I fall into them without even thinking about it, the same way I once fell into staying closeted in vacation. The main difference is, these habits support my relaxation, while defaulting to being in the closet was a major stressor!

For the full background on these LGBT travel safety steps, you’l have to check out (Out) On the Road. But if you’re looking for a simple system you can use to stay safe while exploring the world, here’s how I do it!

LGBT Travel Safety Step #1: No PDAs

In many cultures, holding hands or kissing in public is frowned upon. For same-sex couples, public displays of affection bring extra scrutiny that you probably don’t want.

That’s why my best advice for blending in is to avoid PDAs on vacation.

If you’re openly affectionate at home, this can feel odd at first. Remind yourself that by hiding this part of yourself temporarily, you’re able to experience more of the world. 

And if you can’t or don’t want to avoid PDAs, stick with LGBTQ friendly destinations. You will be less likely to attract attention for showing affection in public. You’ll also have to spend less time and energy worrying about LGBT travel safety.

LGBT Travel Safety Step #2: Book an LGBTQ Friendly Hotel

When I travel, I want to be able to relax and unwind in my accommodation. That’s impossible to do if I’m worrying about how people perceive me. For this reason, I try to book LGBTQ-friendly hotels every time I travel.

Large international chain hotels are used to queer travelers. Many have LGBTQ friendly policies, and train their staff on how to be inclusive. This post rounds up the most LGBTQ friendly hotel brands, while this post breaks down how to check if any hotel is LGBT friendly.

What about vacation rentals? Those offer privacy, but vacation rentals often negatively impact local communities by taking away affordable housing options. I’m less likely to book vacation rentals now than I was when I first started traveling.

This post on Airbnb vs hotels breaks down the pros and cons of each, while my Airbnb alternatives post runs through community-friendly alternatives.

Should You Book One Bed or Two?

Should gay travelers book a room with one bed or two? It depends.

If you’re a queer couple abroad visiting countries with pro-LGBTQ laws, book one bed. Just don’t be surprised if you’re asked about your bed preference at check-in. I get asked “one bed or two” all the time, even in some of the most queer friendly places in North America, like Honolulu!

If you’re visiting regions with punitive laws regarding sexual orientation, like many countries in the Middle East, consider booking a room with two beds to avoid the uncomfortable scrutiny.

Likewise for if you’re in a rural area or staying in a small boutique hotel and want to err on the safe side.

LGBT Travel Safety Step #3: Stay Private On Social Media

I used to give this advice to people who were visiting countries that criminalize sexual orientation or same sex marriage. But visitors to the United States are now being asked to share their social media handles when using ESTA, the Electronic System for Travel Authorization that determines whether or not travelers need to obtain a visa.

The social media field on the ESTA is optional for now. If you want to visit the US, border control officials at New York airports probably won’t be scrolling through your TikToks. But international travelers have been denied US entry over social posts, so it’s better to be cautious.

Conditions in the US are changing rapidly, with some states passing harsh anti-trans laws and reviving conversion therapy while others are doubling down on gender identity protections. Again, this is why it’s better to be cautious right now.

This post breaks down the safest states to visit if you’re LGBT and this post links to LGBT travel risk map and screening tools. In addition to checking these resources, I also recommend checking local laws in the specific areas you plan to visit.

Gay travel bloggers The Nomadic Boys went to Lebanon several years ago. They were posting on their social media and using terms like “gay Lebanon” in the captions. When they went to leave the country, they were detained and questioned by security. They were eventually allowed to leave, but the incident left them shaken and scared to be openly gay on social media in countries with similarly restrictive laws.

Based on accounts like this, I strongly recommend setting your social media accounts to private before your trip.

This post on reducing your digital footprint outlines other privacy measures to take when crossing borders, including deleting social media apps from your phone, powering off your devices, and using protective measures like Lockdown mode.

I use the digital footprint post every time I travel. Just like buying travel insurance, I want to make sure I’m not leaving anything to chance.

If you have a website that mentions LGBTQ+ content, like an LGBTQ travel blog, use a tool such as Cloudflare to block traffic from specific countries.

If you normally use gay dating apps, think twice about using these apps in countries where it’s not safe to be openly queer. Not only are there dating app scams to worry about, but dating apps have been used for entrapment in places where it’s illegal to be gay.

If you receive a visa on arrival, take these LGBT travel safety steps before your flight. If you are applying for a visa in advance, it’s wise to minimize your online presence before you apply, just in case.

Think Twice Before Sharing Queer Content on Social Media

While on vacation, be discrete about what you share to socials.

It’s common sense not to tag your location when you’re staying in a hotel or vacation rental for a long time. But think two steps ahead of that and avoid sharing anything that will out you as LGBT.

No rainbow emojis, no queer hashtags, no Pride flags, no kissing couple selfies.

You can still take these photos if you want. Just wait to share them until you are back home, in your own country.

LGBTQ Travel Safety Step #4: Use Masking Behaviors

Within the context of personal safety, passing can help queer and trans people stay safe.

It’s also something most of us intuitively know how to do. We grew up masking gender nonconforming behaviors or same-sex crushes to fit in with peers.

On vacation, passing for straight or cishet helps us to blend in with the people around us. For the record, this isn’t something you have to do anytime you travel – but if you are visiting a country that’s not LGBT friendly, or one where your orientation or gender identity is criminalized, then it’s recommended for protection.

So, how exactly do you pass? That depends.

You might tone down your style of dress or accessories, wear makeup or shave body hair if you normally don’t, or even go so far as to pretend to have an opposite-sex partner back home if you are traveling solo and nervous about unwanted attention.

If you’re proudly out in your daily life, like me, it can be a struggle to go back into the closet for a trip. Many of the gay and lesbian travelers I interviewed for (Out) On the Road felt the same way.

It’s not fun to pretend that your partner is your friend, or to consciously limit what you share with other people or how you act in public in case of appearing “too gay.”

But it may be the best option to see a place you’ve always wanted to see, without putting your safety at risk!

Remind yourself that passing is temporary. For the moment, it’s helpful.

Then look for queer friendly places to go. Spaces like gay bars where you can be yourself and be around other queer people. This might not always be possible but in many countries it’s easier than you imagine. Just be respectful of local queer cultures, and remember you are a guest in their home!

LGBT travel safety is a continuum. In some places, you can be your full self without worry. In others, you may adopt some precautions and not others. In some places, you may want to use all precautions. When you have the knowledge to make these decisions, you aren’t giving something up or hiding. You are consensually opting into the type of travel you most desire while retaining your personal power.